One of my favorite books of all time is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Later, he and his son, Don Jose Ruiz, expanded on those ideas in The Fifth Agreement. and together they’ve become ideas I’ve tried to carry with me through life.
The agreements are simple to read. Much harder to practice.
Agreement #1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Being impeccable with your word is about integrity. It’s about saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and trying not to use words carelessly.
I’ve seen how a few thoughtful words can encourage someone for years, and I’ve also seen how harsh words can leave scars that last just as long.
Words matter. The way we speak to others matters. The way we speak to ourselves matters too.
Words matter. The way we speak to others matters. The way we speak to ourselves matters too.
Agreement #2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
This may be the hardest one of all.
Most people are carrying burdens we know nothing about. Sometimes the tone, attitude, or behavior we experience from others has very little to do with us.
Understanding that can save us a lot of anger and hurt. It can also help us become more compassionate and patient with people.
Agreement #3. Don’t Make Assumptions
I wish more people would think about this one today.
Assumptions damage relationships. They create misunderstandings that could have been avoided.
Many problems could be solved if people simply slowed down, asked a question, and had an honest conversation instead of deciding they already know the answer.
Many problems can be solved if people simply slow down, ask a question, and have an honest conversation.
Agreement #4. Always Do Your Best
This sounds simple, but your best changes from day to day.
There are seasons in life when you feel strong and capable, and there are seasons when getting through the day is your best. Both are okay.
The important thing is to keep trying and not lose heart. At the end of the day, if you know you sincerely did your best, there’s peace in that.
Agreement #5. Be Skeptical, But Listen
This agreement was added later, and I think it’s especially relevant now.
We live in a world where everybody has an opinion, and we’re flooded with information every minute of the day.
I think it’s healthy to question things and think carefully. But I also think we grow by listening. Sometimes wisdom comes from places we least expect it.
Sometimes wisdom comes from places we least expect it.
What I appreciate most about these agreements is that they’re practical. They aren’t complicated theories. They’re reminders about how to live with a little more kindness, patience, humility, and understanding.
I certainly haven’t mastered them. Not even close. But I can tell you this: when I’m mindful of these agreements, life tends to feel lighter. My relationships improve. I become more patient. I judge less quickly. I listen better.
And honestly, the world could use a little more of that right now.
That’s part of why I started Joe Shares in the first place. I wanted to share ideas, stories, and perspectives that might help people feel encouraged and maybe see life a little differently. Not because I have all the answers, but because certain lessons have helped me, and they may help someone else too.
Maybe this week, pick just one of these agreements and give it some thought.
You may find it changes more than you expect.
